CoachNet Campfire

Kelly sat across the table, coffee cup half raised, mouth half open staring at me. Silence. Silence made more pronounced by a break in the music playing over head. Coffee shops while cozy are generally fairly noisy with baristas, espresso machines, blenders and customers but now it was as quiet as a church. I scooted my chair back and walked over buy a refill. Kelly was still staring. Nothing can really be something when it comes to coaching. Especially if that nothing is the well disciplined silence that comes right behind a good question. To not yield to the awkwardness of silence and feel you have to fill the time and the air with words. Silence. Perhaps the most difficult transition for new coaches is learning when to stop talking and let the one being coached wrestle with the issue at hand…in silence.When I returned to the table Kelly was writing furiously, looked up, quickly said, “thank you,” and held up a hand to keep me from saying anything more until the writing was finished.  ”I would have never thought of this had you not asked but….” And the words came tumbling out with energy and excitement.        Silence truly can be golden.  And it must be guarded.  At times I struggle to remember to not break the coachable moment when the one you are coaching is wrestling with a potential breakthrough.   When do you struggle most to be silent in your coaching?