The Best Kind of Self-ish


March 13, 2013

In a recent post, we looked at three ways you can be self-oriented and have it benefit your coaching practice. But in this blog post, we're going to look at the most important self-oriented idea of all for coach: the idea of self regulation.

Girl with Duct TapeWe've all heard the statement "Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean that you should do it."  That's the core of self regulation.  When you combine your self-awareness (the ability to monitor what you're thinking and feeling as it's happening) and your self-efficacy (your own assessment of what you can actually do), you get a pretty clear picture of what actions are within your reach.  You might even take a moment and list out all of your options in a given situation.

But then self-regulation becomes an important control.  Once you have clarity on what is within your reach--especially in terms of your behavioral options--self-regulation is the ability to choose to act in the best possible way.  Just under the surface of the idea of self-regulation is a value for coming up with solutions that are not only true to your own interests, but also for the interests of the other people with whom you have relationships.  Self-regulation is a two-way street, good for you and for the people around you.

So how does this benefit a coaching relationship?  When a coach makes self-regulated decisions, good effects come not only to the coach but also to the client.  When a client is self-regulated, the coaching relationship benefits and the coach becomes more effective.

Growing in self-regulation means being true to your personal values, even when it's less-than-enjoyable to maintain that commitment.  Being self-regulated also pulls the people around you up…because of your commitment.

For more from Jonathan Reitz, please click here.

Jonathan ReitzJonathan Reitz has a number of impressive titles at CoachNet Global (Chairman/CEO/Guy with Coffee).  Jonathan has been coaching since 1996 and has worked with over 500 clients in the church, the non-profit sector and the business world. 

  “Coaching plays a part in the kind of leadership the world needs,” says Jonathan Reitz.  “I want to be a part of that.”

For a daily coaching question from Jonathan Reitz, follow him on Twitter @jonathanreitz  Or, you can email hime at or by phone at 440.550.4374.

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